I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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