I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
