I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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