Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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