Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
