i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
