Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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