i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
