super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
