My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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