she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
