You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
