Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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