I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Bring me that man meat
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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