How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize