I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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