We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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