I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
