you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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