You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I came so hard my ears popped.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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