he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
