Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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