I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize