I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize