He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
