she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
