I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
