This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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