Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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