You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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