We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
false alarm. still invincible.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
