guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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