the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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