some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
