What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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