thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
