You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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