I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
