tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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