I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
