My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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