And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize