you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
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Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
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It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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