that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
