I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
