Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Everyone says I win the strip club
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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