I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize