My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize