my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
