Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
