i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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