so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
