Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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