...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
