I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize