my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
