I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
