I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
