They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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