New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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