Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
