Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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