So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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