it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
